Birth Trauma: How to Heal from a Traumatic Birth
Takeaway: A traumatic birth can have a big impact on mental health. Birth can be a powerful and transformative experience in a woman's life. However, a third of women report experiencing traumatic birth experiences. In this article, read about how to recognize birth trauma, risk factors, the impact of birth trauma, and support for the healing process.
What is birth trauma?
Birth trauma is any physical or emotional distress experienced during or after childbirth. Women's perceptions of safety, control, and support during childbirth influences how they feel about their birth and how it impacts their mental health.
Birth trauma can result from a lack or loss of control, a difficult delivery, fear for their baby’s safety or their own safety, severe physical pain, emergency procedures, unwanted medical intervention, and lack of communication from medical care providers are common reasons women experience birth trauma and posttraumatic stress.
Recovering and healing from traumatic events like a very difficult labour or birth is possible.
Reasons you might be struggling with birth trauma
It didn’t go as planned or expected
You imagined and looked forward to the day of your baby’s birth for months, or even years. And then… it didn’t go as planned. Maybe it didn’t go as planned at all.
You expected to feel supported, excited, and joyful during your birth. Maybe instead you felt vulnerable, confused, abandoned, or violated. Maybe some of those feelings were so big and frightening that you had to quickly move past them in the moment to function.
Then, because you and the baby are both physically “okay” now, it feels like everyone expects you to just move on, saying things like “you have a healthy baby, that’s all that matters!” - but you can’t stop thinking about what happened.
There was an emergency
Emergency situations during childbirth can be a traumatic event. When your delivery plan suddenly changes you can feel afraid, disappointed, or confused. Sometimes these situations can leave lasting negative emotions and beliefs about yourself and your body, like feeling that your body failed you and your baby. This could be medical intervention that you didn't expect, like an emergency caesarean.
Your baby needed care in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit)
Childbirth trauma can include your baby needing to spend time in the NICU for medical complications, like being born prematurely or having other medical needs. Being separated from your new baby, having to spend your first days or weeks as a new parent learning about medical procedures and medical jargon, and feeling afraid and uncertain can be difficult and heartbreaking for mothers. This is not what you pictured when you were pregnant.
Nearly 40% of parents with babies in the NICU develop PTSD.
You have negative feelings about your birth experience
You felt scared or unsafe
Birth can become an emergency life or death situation, sometimes very quickly. If you felt worried for your health and safety or felt that your child's health and safety was at risk during or soon after delivery, these are real reasons to feel distressed.
You felt abandoned or alone
Feeling abandoned, isolated, or alone while laboring, giving birth, or recovering from childbirth can contribute to birth trauma. Maybe you were left alone against your wishes or you felt alone due to a lack of practical and emotional support from medical professionals or another person you expected to support you.
If you gave birth during the pandemic you might have had to abruptly change your birth plans and worry about whether or not you could have a support person or people in the room with you.
This is not what you had hoped for, especially if this was your first pregnancy.
You felt violated or powerless
Many women who have experienced birth trauma felt powerless during their labor. Feelings of powerlessness can be really overwhelming feelings of helplessness or inadequacy in stressful situations. The strength of these emotions can make women more susceptible to anxiety, stress panic attacks, and depression.
Birth trauma is often about what happened during pregnancy or birth, but sometimes it's about what didn't happen. If you were not informed about your medical care, were not consulted or considered by health care professionals in making medical decisions, or were not given choices in aspects of giving birth, you may have felt pressured, violated, or disregarded.
How do I know if my birth experience was traumatic?
The basis for trauma is not just what happened to you, it’s how you feel about what happened. How you feel during and after the birth can affect your response for weeks and months. How YOU experienced pregnancy and birth and your response to those emotions is what indicates if a birth is traumatic.
Birth trauma can result from feeling vulnerable, afraid, confused, unacknowledged or unheard, abandoned or isolated, misunderstood, violated, or powerless during or after birth. Medical emergencies or issues for mom and/or baby also contribute to traumatic stress symptoms.
You might recognize yourself in some of the experiences and symptoms described on this page. You may not relate to all of them, but even if only a few resonate with you and you still don’t feel quite right about your birth experience or your mental health is impacted by a previous birth, you may have had a traumatic birth.
6 signs you might view your birth as traumatic
1 You believed your life or your baby's life was at risk.
2 You can’t remember important details and have blocks of memory you can't recall
3 You felt detached from your body and what was happening around you.
4 You felt stripped of your dignity and choices, unsupported, unheard, disrespected, or violated.
5 You felt alone, helpless, flooded by fear, or out of control.
6 There was poor communication, things weren’t explained to you, or you had to make critical decisions quickly in an emergency situation.
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after childbirth trauma
According to Postpartum Support International, 9% of women will develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) after a difficult birth. Women who feel a lack of control during birth or who have poor care and support are more at risk of developing post traumatic stress disorder symptoms. Additional risk factors for posttraumatic stress disorder include a history of trauma, childhood trauma, domestic violence, and sexual assault or sexual abuse.
PTSD is a mental health diagnosis with specific criteria. "Birth trauma" is less narrowly defined and is not an official diagnosis in the United States. You may have experienced birth trauma and still not meet all the qualifying criteria for posttraumatic stress disorder. Not all women who experience birth trauma will develop posttraumatic stress disorder, and you do not need to be diagnosed with postnatal PTSD to benefit from additional support or get treatment from a birth trauma therapist.
If something doesn’t feel right, you deserve support. Your experience and your trauma are real. The most important thing is knowing that if you are suffering from emotional distress caused by physical, emotional, or psychological trauma during or after childbirth our pain is valid and there is help.
Symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder
Not all PTSD symptoms have to be present in order to develop postnatal PTSD. Some of the most common symptoms of PTSD include:
Intrusive memories or replaying of a past traumatic experience (of birth or other previous traumas)
Flashbacks or nightmares (replaying the birth or other parts of a traumatic event in your dreams)
Avoidance of reminders connected to the trauma: including thoughts, feelings and emotions, people, places and details (for example, any reminders of pregnancy and when you gave birth, including feeling anxious when you walk past a hospital or doctor, seeing mothers with their babies, hearing other women tell their birth stories)
Feeling on edge and unable to relax
Difficulty bonding with your baby
Feeling irritable or angry
Anxiety and/or panic attacks
Feeling detached, like “things don't seem real”
Being hyper-vigilant (always on alert) and easily startled
Sleep disturbance (not being able to sleep even though you are very tired)
Excessive worry (for example, checking on your baby repeatedly or fearing something bad will happen)
Also be on the look out for signs and symptoms of postpartum depression and other perinatal mood and anxiety disorders - prevalence and risk factors of postnatal depression are impacted by traumatic childbirth.
What are the effects of a traumatic or distressing birth?
Trauma changes your brain. Women who experience birth trauma or post traumatic stress disorder can have trouble thinking clearly, have difficulty regulating emotions, and are more susceptible to stress, fear, and hyper-vigilance. Stress and uncomfortable emotions can leave you feeling raw, scared, exhausted, and in pain.
Trauma and birth related PTSD can make you feel stuck, making it difficult to move forward. You might experience panic attacks, vivid flashbacks of the traumatic experience, hypervigilance, feelings of emptiness, a struggle with mothering or life in general, a lack of confidence, feelings of failure, and anger.
Birth related PTSD can make you feel disconnected from yourself and can cause relationship issues with your partner. Birth related PTSD can lead to bonding and attachment difficulties. Women who experience trauma while pregnant or during childbirth have elevated risk factors for developing a Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders, like postnatal depression or a postpartum anxiety disorder.
How to heal from a difficult birth
You might recognize yourself in some of the experiences and psychological symptoms connected to birth trauma. You may not relate to all of them, but even if a few resonate with you and you feel distressed or don’t feel quite right about your pregnancy or birth experience, you can benefit from additional support or treatment. Many women suffer alone after trauma and women's health suffers. You deserve support to process feelings about your traumatic childbirth, and the impact on you and your family. Your mental health matters.
The good news: Postnatal PTSD and the effects of trauma are treatable. Recognizing the signs and symptoms of traumatic stress and postnatal PTSD can be important in getting the support you need. One of the first things to do after recognizing you are experiencing the impacts of childbirth trauma relating to pregnancy or delivery is to talk to your health care provider and explore treatment options, including trauma therapy.
Process your experience by telling your birth story
The immediate demands of postpartum and motherhood can overshadow the intensity of childbirth. Additionally, our culture minimizes the significance and powerful impact of childbirth. Telling your birth story allows you to pause and process that intensity and its impact on you - and identify where you might need some emotional support.
Some women don't recognize their pregnancy or childbirth experience as a traumatic event until they begin to reflect on and share their story. Working through the complex layers of your story can help you better understand your experience and the emotions involved. Telling your story, from pregnancy to the moment you met your baby for the first time, provides space for reflection while also helping you acknowledge and identify your current mental health needs.
If you're not sure where to start, you can download my free workbook, Your Birth Story, Prompts and Exercises for Reflection.
Many patients find it helpful to access medical records, review photos, or talk with supportive others who were present to put together a more complete picture.
Please note that women who are experiencing intense posttraumatic stress symptoms related to a previous traumatic birth may need more support in reflecting on and processing their birth story. If your experience was traumatic and remains very difficult to think about, you may benefit from processing your birth story in a therapeutic setting with support. In this case, this workbook might not be the best tool for you right now. Working with a trained therapist to address this trauma can help you heal and find peace and strength in your distressing birth or even prepare for a subsequent childbirth.
Know you aren’t alone and connect with others
Getting support from other moms is extremely beneficial for women who have experienced birth trauma. Connection mitigates the impact of birth trauma and traumatic birth PTSD. Connecting with other women with similar experiences and women experiencing the impact of birth trauma decreases isolation, depression, and anxiety.
Postpartum Support International offers free, peer-to-peer virtual support groups, including support groups for Birth Trauma Support and a group for Birth Trauma Support for Black, Indigenous, People of Color (BIPOC) Birthers.
Hand to Hold offers support groups for NICU Parents, including a NICU Mom Support Group, NICU Parent groups, groups for current and graduate NICU families, and high-risk pregnancy groups.
Social support is a powerful intervention and reduces risk factors for postpartum depression, post traumatic stress disorder, and other mental health challenges following a traumatic childbirth.
Practice self-compassion
Self-compassion is the act of treating yourself with kindness, care, and understanding during times of suffering. It involves acknowledging the difficulties you're going through with empathy and without judgment. Most people, especially women, find self-compassion difficult because of the pressure and demands from others or internalized societal attitudes that most women adopt.
Here are some examples of how to practice self-compassion:
Speak to yourself in a kind and understanding manner, as if you were talking to a friend who is going through a tough time.
Acknowledge your emotions and allow yourself to feel them without suppressing or avoiding them. It's okay to feel disappointed, angry, or sad about your birth experience.
Engage in activities that bring you joy or relaxation, such as listening to a favorite song or going for a walk outside.
Practice present moment awareness by focusing on the present moment and accepting it without judgment.
Practicing self-compassion can also include engaging in self-care, intentional actions taken to prioritize your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Women, especially new mothers, benefit from asking for help with household tasks and sharing childcare responsibilities with partners or family members, prioritizing healthy eating and regular movement (like trauma-informed yoga), and seeking support from friends, a family member, or a therapist.
Work with a birth trauma therapist
If you are suffering after a traumatic birth, therapy for birth trauma can help heal the emotional effects of your traumatic birth experience and treat PTSD to relieve symptoms of traumatic stress and post-traumatic stress disorder. Therapy for birth trauma and PTSD can help you understand how the birth affected you and begin the healing process.
Talking therapy such as Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and other therapies like Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) are evidence-based and proven to help women after trauma. Therapy can help process the trauma (and prior trauma), address any negative cognition, and build up coping strategies to support you in the postnatal period and beyond.
If you are struggling with attachment, anxiety, depression, or difficult thoughts about your birth experience, you might benefit from therapy to address trauma, anxiety, or depression through practical and emotional support.
Working with a therapist for birth trauma can help:
Lessen the impact of birth trauma on your mental health
Support you in share and processing your birth story and the emotional impact of your traumatic birth.
Alleviate symptoms related to childbirth trauma and birth related ptsd.
Reduce the intensity of triggers - those things that feel like a constant reminder of the childbirth events.
Strengthen your relationship with your partner.
Connect and bond with your child.
Manage difficult emotions like failure, guilt, anger, and sadness.
Heal from a previous traumatic birth and plan for your next pregnancy and a subsequent childbirth experience.
You are not alone and you do not have to suffer from the impact of birth trauma. If your feel your birth was traumatic, it's important not to dismiss or minimize that experience, especially if your distress lasts longer than the first month after your baby is born. Postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, and birth related PTSD are all treatable and effective mental health treatment and support is available. If you are in California and looking for this kind of support, you can schedule a free consultation with me today. If you're not in California, check out Postpartum Support International's Provider Directory to find a trained Perinatal Mental Health therapist near you.
