Returning to Work after Maternity Leave: 3 Ways to Feel Less Overwhelmed
Takeaway: Returning to work after maternity leave can bring up so many emotions and practical challenges. In this article, I explain some of the reasons moms feel overwhelmed and give tips on how to prepare for going back to work after maternity leave.
Returning to Work after Maternity Leave
Returning to work after maternity leave can be a major source of stress for new moms. You might be dreading your return to work, frantically googling “how to extend maternity leave” and feeling like a clock is ticking on this precious time with your baby. Or maybe you’re feeling excited about being a working mom and reconnecting with your colleagues, getting dressed and out of the house, and engaging in work that is meaningful to you. You might feel nervous about leaving your little one with someone else or worried about balancing working and motherhood. Whatever your situation is, there can be a lot of conflicting emotions and uncertainty about returning to work as a new mom and that can feel overwhelming.
Reasons you’re feeling overwhelmed about returning to work after maternity leave
Conflicting emotions
Many areas of motherhood are filled with ambivalence (having mixed feelings), and returning to work as a new mom is one of them.
Conflicting emotions like feeling sad to leave your baby while also feeling relieved to have more freedom, feeling worried or guilty having someone else care for your baby while also feeling excited to be taking on stimulating projects at work or feeling sad to not have as much time to spend with your baby while also feeling happy about getting to have adult conversations. These mixed emotions can make you feel like there’s a tug-of-war going on in your head and your heart when you’re thinking about going back to work after maternity leave.
Practical changes
Going back to work after maternity leave means adjusting to new schedules, arranging for childcare, and making plans for feeding your baby. It can feel like a lot to prepare for all these adjustments, both practically and emotionally.
New identity and role as a mom
You left for maternity leave anticipating the arrival of your baby and knowing life was about to change. And whoa, it really changed. And you have really changed! You’re coming back to work from maternity leave with an entirely new role and a whole new aspect of your identity - you’re a mom now. Bringing your new identity as a mom with you back to work after maternity leave means bringing along your new values and priorities as well.
How to prepare to return to work after maternity leave
Allow yourself to experience your emotions
All the feelings you are having about returning to work after maternity leave are okay. Tuning in to your emotional experience and feeling your feelings can help you learn to see your emotions as sources of information. This can sound like “Oh, I’m feeling sad leaving my baby today because I value spending time with him”, or “I notice I’m feeling apprehensive about taking the lead on this project, I might need some time to come back in touch with my confidence at work”. This acknowledgment and acceptance makes it possible to show up in an authentic, open way and make choices based on your values instead of reacting with little awareness of how you’re really feeling.
Practice week
It can be helpful to prepare yourself for the practical aspects of returning to work by having a week or two to practice. Practice your new schedule, get to know your childcare provider and routines, and if you’re breastfeeding, take a trial run at pumping. Waking up and getting dressed with your work schedule in mind, finding out how long your commute will be, familiarizing yourself with childcare pick-up/drop off, and trying out your pump can take away some of the uncertainty of returning to work. Open communication with your childcare provider and knowing your rights for pumping at work can lessen some anxiety as well.
Remind yourself of your values
Everyone’s situation is unique - both the reasons you are returning to work after maternity leave and how you feel about it. Whatever is true for you and your situation, aligning this decision with your values can have a tremendous impact on how you feel returning to work. You might value personal development and ambition, which you find in meaningful and challenging work. Your job might align with your values of security, stability, and preparedness because it provides you with a paycheck. When you are struggling with all the emotions and practical changes that come with returning to work after maternity leave, reconnecting with your values can help remind yourself of your “why”.
Support for your return to work
The task of returning to work after maternity leave can feel overwhelming, especially without adequate support. I understand and I can help. With all the tasks of motherhood and the changes of returning to work on the horizon, therapy might feel like just another thing to add to your to-do list. However, support during this transition can help calm all the noise and chaos. Therapy could be the key to unlocking peace, confidence, and strength to help you thrive as a working mom.
I provide both in-person and online therapy for moms in California. If you’re looking for this kind of support, schedule a consultation with me today. Find out more HERE.
Books for moms returning to work after maternity leave
Sometimes a little bit of knowledge can make all the difference. These are a few books that I have personally found to be really helpful. Try keeping one of these on your nightstand to read a few pages before bed, or listening to as an audiobook on your commute or while cooking dinner.
The Fifth Trimester: Lauren Smith Brody
(I also love this pep talk from Lauren, an expert in supporting moms at work.)
The Parental Leave Playbook: Dr. Amy Beacom and Sue Campbell
